Chapter 16–Communicate, Appreciate, and Validate

In Spiritual Stories by Gary



In my younger years I depended on logic and did not pay much attention to intuition.  I had one experience, related to the woman that was like a second mother to me, where I should have followed my intuition but didn’t and that one still haunts me today.  After my daughter was killed by a drunk driver I began to pay more attention to my intuition.  I believe the Holy Spirit and intuition are some how connected but I don’t understand it.  One night intuition told me to backtrack on my channel surfing and watch this program.  This is that story.

Communicate, Appreciate, and Validate 

Communicate, appreciate and validate are words that John Edward used to close his TV show “Crossing Over.”  I had always been very skeptical of psychics.  I had never had any personal experience with a psychic.  My skepticism was based upon parental comments, TV shows, and the midway of the State Fair.  Experiences after the death of my daughter would cause me to become a believer in psychics.

One night in the fall of 2000, I was channel surfing.  I stopped at the ScFi channel.  A psychic named John Edward was claiming to talk with dead people.  I pushed the channel button and kept going.  I had passed a few more channels when this intuition came over me.  Since Kim’s death, I had started to pay more attention to my intuition.  My intuition told me to stop, back up, and watch John’s program.  So I did.  John’s conveyance of information between the dead and the living was very intriguing.  The program was on from 10 until midnight.  I watched both hours of the show and decided to watch weekly.

Since Kim’s death, I wanted reassurance she was okay in the next life.  I continued watching John Edward’s Crossing Over program to learn more about him and his gift as a psychic / medium.  John closed his programs by reminding people that the love bonds established in the earthly life are not broken by death.  Those love bonds continue into the next life.  Our love bonds extend across the boundary separating the earthly life and the next life.  He encouraged people to communicate, appreciated, and validate their loved ones on earth so that a medium didn’t have to do it after they crossed over to the next life.  The idea that love bonds remain after an earthly death was comforting to me.

John also talked about religion in general terms.  Growing up I had never heard religion and psychic reading discussed together.  John’s religion was Catholic and he was open about it.  He talked about prayer being important to our earthly lives and our lives in the next life.  Now he had my attention.  I was paying great attention to John’s philosophy and his gift of being a medium.

Maxine and I were struggling with our grief.  The hardest part of grief for a couple is that each must go at their own pace.  Thus the couple is often out of step.  This puts even more strain on the relationship.  I decided I would ask Maxine to join me in watching John Edward.  She was also skeptical.  I still had reservations but felt I needed to continue watching and learning.  So together we watch all the Crossing Over programs for that season.

By the year 2000, John had written a couple of books and I decided to read one.  The book “One Last Time” was of interest.  The title reflected the sorrow Maxine and I had because we had no time to say goodbye.  We both read the book and learned more details about John and his work as a medium.  We continued to gain confidence in John and the message he was communicating to the public.

We learned important things from John’s teaching.  Some of the things that comforted us were:

The loss of a child is one of the hardest things parents will have to endure.

People who have crossed over are restored.  They no longer suffer the diseases, afflictions, and limitations they had on earth.

The love established in the earthly life continues on the other side.  Our loved ones “see” us and know what is going on in our lives.

Our loved ones want us to remember them but get on with life. They want us to be happy.

Even if you had a premonition, there is nothing anyone on earth could have done to change the circumstances of their death.  It happened according to God’s plan.

The energy of our loved ones who have crossed over is around us.  We can feel it but we must learn to make ourselves aware of it.

John encouraged people to be skeptical and to make up their own mind.  He was not force feeding psychic readings.  He never asked the audience to send money.

From the book “One Last Time”: “The only thing important down here (meaning life of earth) is to love and help others and be a good person”.

Prayer is an important part of our spiritual energy for us on earth and for those who have crossed over.  Love and prayer are common bonds between this life and the next life.


As we studied John’s teachings, we grew to accept his gift as a psychic.  Maxine and I briefly discussed the possibility of going to New York to be in the audience for one of John’s “Crossing Over” TV shows.  At the time the waiting list for a show or a private reading was over a year long.  We did not pursue any details about going.  We never discussed it again.  After Maxine died, Brenda told me how much Maxine wanted to have a reading from John.  Maxine internalized most of her emotions and desires and she never mentioned to me her strong desire for a reading.

Maxine and I both felt the presence of Kim around us.  Neither of us discussed the details of how that presence was felt.  We continued to watch and study.  We read John’s books and books by other psychics that John had recommend via is books.  We became comfortable that Kim was in the next life and was ok.  We accepted, but did not understand, that her death was part of God’s plan.

Again, the Holy Spirit was active in our lives.  Pausing to return to watching Crossing Over with John Edward helped us reaffirm our belief in life after death.  We reinforced our belief that our body dies but our soul returns to God.  I came to firmly believe that our body is conceived by our parents but our soul is given by God.

Maxine died on June 4, 2005.  In March of 2006 I became aware that John Edward was going to give a seminar in Des Moines.  I went on-line and bought four tickets. The tickets were for Brenda, Maxine’s best friend, for Gale and Kae, my brother and his wife, and me.  In May of 2006 we went to the seminar.  Brenda received a reading from her father, I received a reading from Maxine, and Maxine brought through three other readings for people I did not know.  Maxine was responsible for five readings. She was still the take charge, get it done, person she was on earth.

The reading was another reassurance of life after earthly death.  That Maxine, Kim, and Virgil were together and ok.  It was very comforting to me.  I have also read books by Allison DeBois.  Her story is similar to John Edward but she connects to the dead in a different manner.  They share the same basic principles of psychic skills.

The most valuable thing learned from John was to communicate, validate, and appreciate your loved ones on earth while you, and they, are here.